Considering the name of this site, I thought this would be a good topic or my first blog post. But first off, this is a blog about living with a brain injury. You can find more background information on me here. On the subject of what a brain injury is, I plan to make a resource page. In the meantime click here if you want more information.
What is normal
First of all, what do I mean by ‘normal’. Well for me ‘normal’ is a place or state where I don’t have to think consciously about all the choices that I make and how they will affect me. So I hope to get to a point where I subconsciously already make the right decisions about what to do, or more importantly what not to do. Hopefully I will then be able to glide through the week, without a unexpected bad day.
How did I lose it
For me, having a brain injury means living with two versions of myself. The old me would go abroad for a weekend trip in the spur of the moment. Or would follow evening courses combined with a fulltime job and never be at home in the weekends. And the new me, that gets a sensory overload as a result of harsh lights or noise and where a severely reduced energy level determines if I can do anything at all. As you can imagine, this leads to (very) many internal discussions between the old and new me.
Searching for a new normal
That’s why I hope to refind my sense of normal. So I can go through a week or a month without having to hit a wall to realise I (still) have a brain injury. Cause in all honesty, I am still secretly hoping to wake up one day and be magically healed. Writing this all down, I realize that the word acceptance might have popped up by now. Through this journey I have gotten reluctant to use the word acceptance. For me that word feels like giving in or giving up. Something that I refuse to do. So I think that is why I named this side is refining normal.
How to find it
Now you might wondering how I am going to find it? Good question! I have no idea. Hopefully writing about my life will help, as it forces me to think and to express it. Besides writing, I will also try new things but hopefully in a sensible manner. Well … I’ll let you know!
I hope to post regularly and to make this site resemble a real website in the coming weeks, so be sure to check back!