Feeling stuck in life

Blue butterfly on a windowstill

Do you also feel stuck sometime? Stuck in patterns and habits that control your life far too much? I’m guessing most people have probably felt this at one time of another. The real question however, is what you do next. What do you do when you realize you have been feeling stuck for a while? What can you do to regain a sense of control over your life, rather than feeling that life controls you?

Finding a way out

At the end of the day, our daily life is the result of actions and choices that we have made. Sure we are not in control of everything, but we do control our thoughts and actions. If we feel stuck, maybe it’s time to reassess those. To search for possible adjustments that can be made. To find the leeway that there might be. To look for the possibilities of doing things differently. Or maybe one step further, to ask for help or an outsiders perspective. Yes, that would be a responsible way of handling things. Not only responsible, but probably also a purposeful way of making a real difference.

I wish I could claim that this is what I’ve done in the past weeks, but alas. This is a case of knowing what to do, but nevertheless choosing the easy way out. Which in this case was ignoring reality and living in the moment .

The reason I felt stuck

The transition from vacation-life to normal life this summer hit me again a whole lot harder than expected. Vacation life for me means feeling far less limited and a lot more happier and freer compared to normal life. And going back to a life where I need to sleep so much more during the day and careful planning is required for my social life, felt like being trapped. Trapped and stuck in limitations that kept me from living the life that I want to live. Unfortunately I still don’t know exactly why I feel so much better on vacation. Which buttons I could push to make normal life resemble vacation life a little more.

What I did know however, was that I have had it. I was done with careful planning, with sleeping three times a day and having to put a timer on social visits. My patience was long gone and I the feeling of being stuck grew.

Title of post on image of bleu butterfly stuck behind a window

Acting out

Something had to give and as I’ve already spoiled at the top of this blog, smart decision making was the thing that gave. I was done with being sensible and reasonable. I just wanted to do fun things again. Not in a week or a month, but now.

And so I ignored all my limits during the weekends. I went out for lunches, for dinners, for drinks, met people for hours on end and so on. I felt alive again! Well in the weekends that was, as of course this all came with a price.

Headaches, trouble with concentration, speaking difficulties, feeling exhausted all the time and more.

Still I don’t regret the choices I’ve made. Was it a smart way to cope? No, of course not. And I can’t say that I would recommend this to others.

The disclaimer

Going over your limits too often or too much always has a risk. It was once explained to me using a rubber band as example. Think of your brain with its limits as a rubber band. You can stretch the band only to far for it to return to its original state. Stretching too often or too far and the rubber band will break. Exhausting your brain too much, could result in a loss of function or abilities. And every time I ignored my limits, I knew that I was taken a gamble with my brain.

Thankfully after a couple of weeks I had learned that I needed to alternate a weekend with less limits with a weekend with a lot of rest.

Time for a real solution

For me the next step is to try the responsible approach. To look for which adjustments can be made and to ask for help. I need to feel more in control over my life and try to find a healthier balance between things that I enjoy and thinks (that I think) I have to do. So I know what I have to do next, it’s just a matter of finding the courage to do so.

To be continued

4 Replies to “Feeling stuck in life”

  1. This is so me at the moment. I’m stuck & sick of living ‘by the rules’ to keep my brain in a good state.
    There’s been little I could do recently as my husband’s been away or working late the last 3 weeks & weekends.
    I lost it on the phone to him yesterday & cried about how hard this all was; shopping, cooking, cleaning, taking daughter to & from school, parents’ evening, birthday sleepover, walking dogs, doctor appointments….I think this would be hard for an uninjured person to manage!
    A solution has to be found & we are now getting a cleaner once a week & I want a gardener too. Shopping online & having it delivered is another option which could ease the load.
    Thank you for sharing, it’s so appropriate to me right now 🙂

    1. Thank you for sharing! Having had to do so much by yourself sounds to have been exhausting. But it sounds like you’re a step ahead of me, having told someone you need help and finding a responsible way to lighten your load! I hope things will get better soon for you!

        1. Thank you, I wish the same for you. Continuously having to adjust and adapt can be exhausting. Take care and be kind to yourself 💙💙

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