It has been a while since I wrote, but I just couldn’t get myself to focus enough to write a coherent piece. As I think everyone can agree that 2020 did not turn out as expected. Who would have thought that we had to deal with one of those dystopian plot-lines, an actual global pandemic. I did not.
New normal
Once again normal life changed. Our habits had to change. Where, when and with who we go somewhere suddenly has become a lot more complicated. Now I for one am glad that we don’t have those obligatory polite kiss-on-the-cheek greetings with acquaintances, but I do miss hugs. But I digress.
For me, a lot of the restrictions that came from being in lockdown, felt less restricting compared to my friends. I mean, going out for dinner or going to parties was something I already almost never did. In a way I felt that I had already mastered a restricted life due to my brain injury. There were even some silver linings. As it suddenly was okay to work from home all the time. Or to have video call meetings, rather than having to travel halfway across the country for a meeting. Even the restaurants would deliver to you.
However, there now was also a lot of anxiety, uncertainty and fear. For my own health and job, for friends and family and for society as a whole.
Mental health
If ever there was a time to be more mindful of you own metal health, this was it. I quickly came to realize that my addiction to news was not helping me in any way. I had to be more aware of the things that were in my control and that I could change. And so I decided to follow a Coursera course ‘The science of well-being’ about what we think make us happy and what actually makes us happy. (If you have the time and mental bandwidth to focus, I can’t recommend this course enough!) The best part was that the homework put into practice what you had learned, by getting a new daily practice a week.
Over these past months I’ve learned that being physically active every day, connecting with friends throughout the week, lessen my news intake and time on social media and practice sleep meditations all help me to stay balanced and well. And more importantly, I learned the different controls I can use to try and improve my mental health.
Making a change
I also was privileged enough to do one other thing. Well, a rather big thing. I bought a used van and had it converted into a tiny house. Before the pandemic I was already struggling with feeling stuck and captured in my life. In a way the pandemic served as a final push to get me to make some decisions and changes. In this case a camper van seemed like a logical choice in order to stay safe while also being able to travel the country again.
Making such a big decision and dealing with all the resulting decision making, paperwork and things that need to be done, meant that I kept finding (and crossing) my limits a lot. But, I did get through. Also I can now say that I’ve build a composting toilet and tinted my own windows.
I don’t know what next year will bring. All I can try to do is to make conscious choices and focus on the things that I can control. So I’ll be getting my van ready for the first overnight stay and focus on that for now.
I hope that you all are safe and well.
2013 brain injury here! Found you in the hectic PIP reconsideration phase of life. I did that coursera wellbeing last year too and have van dreams (congrats!) but issues with roads and learning confidence. I’ve been in Manchester feeling stuck for years and years, 6 month lets, buying and selling the same things over and over haha. Time is always interesting, that’s for sure. Best of luck with van life!
If you are ever in Sweden, with your new camper van, you are welcme to come and visit us at our country home, and park by the Baltic Sea in an isolated valley. Well, only in the warmer half of the year as right now we have about 25 centimeters of snow. May today be filled with joy! Delores
A campervan, what a courageous but splendid idea Evie! Love the concept of escape & the brave construction of a chemical toilet.
Initially with the pandemic I felt a bit smug, adapted as I already was to staying at home & rarely venturing out. Now everyone else could experience my life & discover it was far from full of fun & frolics. More negatively, I had the perfect excuse to see no-one, but it didn’t do much for my self-confidence.
As time progressed I began to feel the strain. Family were home ALL the time working (loudly) & using up our next-to-useless WiFi connection meaning I couldn’t work out, use my phone or watch tv.
Then the headaches started. Daily, for 3 months. Migraine began to take over my existence & suddenly I was unable to work out or do anything much.
I’m doing a bit better now with help of more meds, but I’m eager for this time period to be over!
Thank you for your kind words! And I find your reply quite relatable. Having your family members at home too makes life a lot more challenging. I’m sorry to hear you have been suffering from so many headaches and migraines, I hope the meds keep helping and ease the pain a bit. And yes, I really look forward to this period being over too! Take care of yourself!